2. Will You Be Here Tomorrow?

This video is the main reason I don’t fancy getting a job. Although the video describes itself as a safety video, no lessons are actually taught. Well apart from don’t be an idiot and stay in bed. I’d say this was NSFW but that would make the video completely redundant and I don’t want to make these people suffer for nothing.

With the introduction soundtrack reminiscent of that one level on Paper Mario, we see a multicultural work force with the title of this harrowing piece of film. After a brief talk from some guy in a hard hat and goggles we’re treated to a myriad of  80’s horror killings. At around 35 seconds we’re treated with a sort of reggae beat, which you’d probably expect to bring happier viewings, well you’d be wrong. Oh so very wrong.

We see a guy impaled, burned and lose their finger among many many other ways that all look as painful and stupid as the last. At 1:30 we’re treated to a short speech by a guy who somehow lost his arm in a machine, with a reenactment CrimeWatch would be proud of.

At 2:10 we see a manager get cockslapped by some sort of CGI blue hot dog. I don’t see how it’s the managers fault as he’s sitting in his office. The only lesson I can grasp from this is that you should wear a suit of armour when you’re near animated blue meat. At 3:35 we see a return of the reggae beat as we watch a man get his leg crushed by a forklift, the second time this has happened. I can only assume this happens twice as often as say blowing yourself up with a blowtorch which we see at 4:27. This explosion the goes on to blow up the whole building, like Michael Bay had directed the whole thing.

After Michael Baying the place we’re left with the return of the caption, but no tips. Nothing.

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