R.I.P, Stewie, The World’s Longest Cat

We’ve made it pretty clear since the birth of Sick Chirpse that we think cats are pretty awesome and we enjoy their company more than most humans. There are a few reasons for this. Cats don’t talk shit and they tell you exactly what they want and when they want it; whether it’s a paw to the balls, a pepperoni-pink arse mincing around your face, a piercing miaow that shatters every glass surface within a 2-mile radius or a simple, often-used death stare that tells you if you don’t sort out a sachet of Whiskas in the next 10 minutes then you’ll be walking around tomorrow with a face so scratched and beaten you’ll look like the victim of sexual assault by an army of rakes. Cats are much better than humans at telling you what they want and it makes for simple, effective relationships between humans and cats that are usually much more rewarding than any relationship a human (un)willingly enters with another human.

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Another reason why we love cats so much here at Sick Chirpse is that they’re just so effortlessly cool. Think about it. What other species is as cool as the cat race, apart from the platypus? Exactly, none. Zero. Zilch. Nadda. If Ryan Gosling wasn’t human, he’d be a cat. Perhaps he was in a past life – who knows? Who cares? Cats definitely don’t care. The only thing they care about is how clean they are, how sleek their fur looks, how good they look basking in the sun’s rays, how good they look having a pee, how good they look climbing up a tree, how good they look killing a mouse, how good they look strolling through their yard, how good they look when they’re sleeping blah blah blah.

They’re a vain bunch but that’s exactly why we love them. Because we’re exactly the same.

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But our world has come to a standstill. All the streetlights have gone dark, the TV’s are muted, the sun won’t come out and we’re seeking therapy to learn how to smile again. Why? One of the family, Stewie, who was the world’s longest cat, has sadly passed away and we can’t look at our cats in the eyes without our stomach slicing us up like the effects of a Saturday night kebab.

If any of you weren’t familiar with Stewie, he was a Guinness World Record holder for being the world’s longest domestic cat and measured 48.5 inches from the tip of his nose to the tip of his tail. He brought happiness and warmth to all those who knew him or knew about him and he was the envy of other domestic cats everywhere as he could simply reach kitchen worktops without the need to jump. All he’d do was push himself onto his hindlegs and Bob’s your uncle, he’d help himself to all those hidden treats a worktop holds. Treats that not many cats would have ever encountered. Check out his technique. Inspiring:

Stewie – who was in fact named after the melon-headed hero of Family Guy fame – had battled cancer for a year but sadly succumbed at the age of 8 on the evening of Monday, February 4th. His full name was Mymains Stewart Gilligan and his owner, Robin Hendrickson, bought him from a breeder in Oregon in 2005. Stewie was also a certified therapy animal (animals that assist in improving humans’ social, emotional or cognitive functioning) and he regularly visited an old people’s home in Reno where’d help out as much as he could, like the true gent that he was. He also helped promote animal welfare awareness with the Nevada Humane Society, alongside his owner.