A 28 year old woman named Faye Wilson who was on a round the world trip has been escorted back to the UK by border officials after she was refused entry to Thailand because her passport had missing pages. That was because she had ripped them out to wipe her piss away with when she had taken a leak whilst drunk.

She was mortified to reveal the truth but she was forced to after the officials didn’t believe her story that she had ‘lost’ the missing pages:

Images VIA 

We were walking from one bar to the next and we must have been desperate for a wee and obviously didn’t have any toilet roll.

We decided it would be a good idea to use my passport, which is obviously really stupid.

It was maybe two or three pages. I was a bit drunk so didn’t even think about the consequences.

Thai immigration just opened my passport and started looking through it, and asked ‘what’s happened here’?’

I just said that I had lost the pages because I was too embarrassed to explain the real reason. Before I could explain more, they had deported me back to Dubai and then to Glasgow and confiscated my documents.

I felt like I was a criminal – people were looking at me wondering why a border official is someone sat with me the whole time. I don’t know what a criminal looks like but I’m not one.

Well, I suppose you’re not a criminal bud but you are pretty damn stupid. Everyone knows that your passport is THE big document and that losing it is a massive ballache, so to voluntarily use it as toilet paper is one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. You deserve everything you get you idiot.

Faye has now had to return to the Lake District and has to apply for an emergency passport before she can attempt her trip again. She was planning on a month in Thailand and then working for a year in Australia, but we’ll have to see how that goes now.

Her friend on the other hand is probably having a great time in Thailand as she didn’t volunteer her passport for toilet paper. Smart girl.

If you’re reading this Faye, next time you’re in such a situation just make sure you have a roll of the best toilet paper ever handy.