I’ve always called bullshit whenever anyone’s ever said that you can fend off a shark attack by punching it in the nose. I can always just imagine myself punching the evil bastard in the nose and for it to have no effect whatsoever, followed by the shark swiftly devouring me in several large bites. Well it turns out that it does work because this lady did it and lives to tell the tale.

Mariko Haugen, who’s a black belt in Tae Kwan Do, was swimming off the coast of Hawaii when she was set upon by a tiger shark (who are commonly found swimming near public beaches in the area apparently). Knowing that she was about to be eaten, Mariko remembered the bit of advice she’d heard through the grapevine as a child and proceeded to whack the shark on the nose. Mariko said that the first hit didn’t quite go to plan, and her hand ended up in the shark’s mouth (not cool), but the second punch hit the prick square in the face causing it to retreat. Job well done.

“All of a sudden, it was like Hollywood. You see the big jaws coming at you. I can’t say how terrifying that is.

“My Tae Kwan Do prepared me to learn how to punch. I punched it twice. I punched it this way, and that one contacted. But this (punch) kind of hit the side and slid into the mouth.”

The initial punch meant Mariko needed 70 stitches to fix up her wounds, but the main thing is that she survived – massive bonus.

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Mariko’s husband, Don, said this:

“I’ve always told my kids there’s zero reasons to fear sharks because what is scary is breast cancer. Breast cancer is scary. That is one in eight.

“Getting bitten by a shark is one in 4 million to visitors to Hawaii, so we should not have to worry at all.”

Jesus Don why make a good story so gloomy? Who mentioned anything about cancer?! Here’s a photo of a tiger shark so you can imagine how shit scared you’d actually be if you faced in out at sea. Happy swimming!