Watching/listening to couples fight is a really underrated hobby. Especially for someone who’s single it’s all you need to do to justify the reason you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend (even if the reality is no-one loves you). Just like when you see little kids acting like brats in public and you think “yep, that’s why I’ll never have kids”. That’s how everyone should treat couples fighting. Just listen to them go into meltdown and say “well, that’s why I don’t have a partner — so I don’t have to have a full on fight over who text me at 7pm on a Tuesday”.
Anyway, here’s how it went down when a girl named Kelly Keegs sat near a couple on the plane last week:
This guy on the plane just broke up w his girlfriend and she's SOBBING pic.twitter.com/IW9QVYxXdB
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 23, 2015
@keegs141 Guy: "I just can't stand you. I can't be near you. I would switch seats if i could"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Guy: "is this really a surprise? Are you seriously surprised at this information?"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Girl: "Great. JUST GREAT. I'm so glad I paid 40 extra dollars to be on this fucking flight with you"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Guy: I don't care. Girl: IM GLAD YOU DONT CARE
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Girl: "ITS JUST SO MEAN. DO I DESERVE THIS? WHY ARE TOU BRINGING THIS UP"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
"I don't want to be this girl. I don't want to be her. I want to be my best for you and YOU WONT LET ME"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
"Is that what you're starting to do with me? Just slow fade me OUT? Just like the others?"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Kelly was loving it at this point…
This is the greatest plane delay I've ever had
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
The saga continued…
Girl: "you don't even understand why I'm FUCKING SAD. YOU HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Girl: "Why is this so easy for you? It's just THAT FUCKING EASY? What do you want from me?"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Guy: "You need to calm down" Girl: "To me I just really thought, you know, this was going to go somewhere"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
**loud sobs**
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Very stoic few minutes pic.twitter.com/eyt4YDlEj3
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Girl: "well what makes you so FUCKING SPECIAL?"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Girl: "you should probably just stop talking. Just stop TALKING!!"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
"I'm going to ask Charlotte. I'm going to ask her the minute we get home and we'll see if your STORIES MATCH" (Omg scandal who's Charlotte?)
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Guy: "I can't discuss this anymore." Girl: "so I'm not worth your time????"
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
**silent sobs, lots of sniffling**
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
And then… a major plot twist!
What the fuck? Now they're making out. I'm not kidding
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
We took off, they immediately ordered SIX vodkas and Bloody Mary mix for the 50 minute flight and chugged them in silence between makeouts
— Kelly Keegs (@kellykeegs) August 24, 2015
Sounds like an encouraging end, doesn’t it? Downing vodka in total silence? They’ll be fine.
Unlike the couple who broke up on their roof and were also live-Tweeted.
