Having a husband who just mopes around feeling sorry for himself all day can be a real buzzkill, but what if the reason he was so down in the dumps is because he’s literally dying from cancer?
Yana Fry, 40, wed her late husband when she was 22 years old and dreamed of starting a family with him. But the bride’s dreams were soon dashed when her husband, then 37, was diagnosed with testicular cancer. From then on, it was just ‘boo hoo, poor me, I have cancer’ 24/7. ‘Till death do us part’ goes out the window at that point, right?
Yana told the NY Post:
“We couldn’t really think about our future. How can you plan for your future as a newly-married couple when you’re struggling with something like cancer?
People react in one of two ways to critical illnesses, I’ve seen it over and over. The first type was how my husband unfortunately was — the people who drown in self-pity. The second type of people are those who are instead concerned with everyone around them.”
Yana’s issue was that no one ever asked her how she was doing. Her. The one without cancer.
“We saw different kinds of doctors. Not a single person ever offered me help. They never asked, ‘Do you need a support system? Are you part of a counseling group?’”
Yana’s husband continued treatment for his cancer, but the disease only worsened.
“I was hoping for the best with my ex-husband’s cancer, but then years went by, and I started to lose hope. It was five years with all the treatments, and it started to change the dynamics within our relationship.
It wasn’t until that fifth year that I started to think about leaving. But I felt like I couldn’t say anything. When someone is dying next to you, you feel like you can’t talk about your own well-being because you compare it to their suffering.”
Cancer – what a bummer. Totally kills the vibe for sure. But you know what’s worse than being the spouse of someone dying from cancer? Actually having cancer (you’d think).
“In my mind at the time, suicide became an option, even though I had never considered that before. I was in such a bad state.
It was very clear to me that if I didn’t save myself, I was probably going to die.”
Look I don’t want to downplay anyone’s mental health struggles, but to even consider that while your husband is on his deathbed? Seems a bit harsh. In the end, she went for the less harsh option, and divorced him instead. Obviously, the poor guy was stunned:
“His main focus was more and more so about him. At the beginning of his treatment, he was still checking on me. [But] He felt even more pity for himself because of the divorce.
I can’t say that he was hugely supportive. But what was even harder was the reaction of society, which I didn’t expect.”
Yana says people sent her “horrible messages” and that her husband’s family was “disappointed.”
“People were in pain and they wanted to blame someone.”
Well I mean, anytime you divorce your dying, cancer-riddled spouse, you have to expect some amount of negativity and backlash. It would be weird if his family wasn’t disappointed and didn’t send her abusive messages. Fair enough – she did stick by him for 5 years which must be tough especially in your 20s and considering he was 37 at the time, but still, isn’t the whole point of getting married that you make a commitment to endure these types of hardships?
Yana says she and her husband subsequently stopped speaking. Amazingly, he ended up re-marrying before he passed away two years later.
“I actually found out on Facebook that he passed away. There was a picture of him from a common friend, and it said, ‘Rest in Peace.’
My first reaction was, ‘You must be joking. Someone would have called me and told me.’ But no one did.”
Why would anyone call her? She washed her hands of the situation when she divorced him, and the poor guy managed to remarry with only 2 years left to live and so thankfully had his new lady by his side till the end. That’s what it means to be there for someone through thick and thin, to the very end. Marriage isn’t for everyone, I suppose.
For the billionaire tycoon who dumped his fiancée because her cancer was a ‘net negative’, click HERE. Jesus Christ…