A woman who wheeled in a literal dead person to sign off on a loan was DENIED by a bank in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil, and was instead arrested when horrified employees called the police.

In the footage, the woman brings the dead man into the bank in a wheelchair, and has to prop his head up with her hands as she tries to make him sign off on a five-figure loan (no idea how she figured that was going to work).

As suspicious employees start filming, the woman keeps the deceased man’s head upright, tries placing a pen between his fingers and says: ‘Uncle, are you listening? You have to sign it. I can’t sign for you.’

We can’t host the video on the website, but you can easily find it by searching ‘Brazil bank’ on X (if you really want to see a dead guy).

A bank worker tells the woman : ‘I don’t think this is legal. He doesn’t look well. He’s very pale.’

She replies: ‘He’s like that’ before telling the dead OAP: ‘If you’re not well, I can take you to hospital. Do you want to go back to hospital again?’

Dropping ‘he’s like that’ about a literal corpse is just laugh out loud funny. Unfortunately for this woman, the bank workers can tell a dead body from a live one and denied her request to have the loan for 15,900 Brazilian Reals (around £2,500) signed off.

Which seems like an extraordinarily low amount to have gone to the effort of wheeling your uncle’s corpse into the bank. If you’re really that desperate, you’ve got to be chasing at least six figures to pull a stunt like that, right? Although, in fairness, she probably felt it was less suspicious that she was after a relatively low amount of cash.

Either way, in the end, the woman got what she deserved (via):

Paramedics called to the scene confirmed that the deceased pensioner, Paulo Roberto Braga, 68, had passed away a few hours earlier. The woman who wheeled him into the bank, Erika de Souza Vieira Nunes, was arrested at the scene and told police she was his niece as well as his carer.

Maybe try Santander next time.

For the tan salon customer who found a CORPSE on a sun bed after a woman had a 2-hour tanning session, click HERE.