I should have known the first Wolverine movie in 2009 was going to be shite as soon as I heard that Will.I.Am was in it, but like a sap I coughed up the dough anyway and sat in a darkened room in Shepherd’s Bush in the hopes of a pleasing cinematic comic book experience.
What I got instead was a bad Steven Segal movie that replaced the pony-tailed hardnut with Hugh Jackman (no diss to my boy Hugh though, he gets all the props. Have you heard him sing? Voice like a hairy Australian canary). Two hours later I stumbled out into the cold, cruel world after the nerd equivalent of a crap hand-job and promptly sulked my pants off at the debacle of mediocrity I had just witnessed.
I have loved Wolverine as a comic book character ever since I first started reading comics. What’s not to love? He’s always pissed off and regularly thinks about murdering people. We’ve got a lot in common. We also like dealing with our deep-seated emotional problems in exactly the same way:
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Both Wolverine and his fans deserves a film which does justice to his bad-tempered badassery, and now it looks like we may actually get one in the form of a new movie out later this year, the trailer for which got released on the meganets a few hours ago. More fun stuff happens in two-and-a-half minutes than in the entirety of the claptrap that was vomited into cinemas more than three years ago. Have a look if you don’t believe me:
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In the first 30 seconds alone, Hugh Jackman is glassed in the face in a bar and propositioned by some oriental chick who drags his ass to Japan before he gets in a fight at a funeral and goes on to battle ninjas, the Yakuza and an enormous metal samurai while looking really annoyed all the time.
Who can blame him? Imagine if you went on holiday and had ninjas all up in your shit, you’d be well hacked off. Speaking of hacking, Wolverine appears to do loads of it in this trailer. Hopefully he’ll get to go on at least one bloodthirsty carve-a-thon like that amazing bit in X-Men 2 where goes to get a beer from the fridge and ends up eviscerating a small army, because there was no beer and it made him really cross.
Well that wasn’t the actual reason but that’s totally the sort of thing Wolverine would do. He really likes beer.
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Another encouraging fact about The Wolverine (as the film is known) is that it is not yet another bullshit prequel but is set after the events of X-Men 3 so it counts as a kind of X-Sequel. Fun times! It’s also based on Frank Miller’s Wolverine comic from the 1980s, a highly acclaimed book which is still held up as the definitive Wolvie story, plus director James Mangold (Walk The Line, 3:10 To Yuma) is a self-confessed die-hard fan of the character.
All the signs are good. The Wolverine hits cinemas (in 3D, so you can actually feel like you’re being stabbed in the face with adamantium claws) in July. Check it out, bub.
