This week Sick Chirpse spoke to a nature expert regarding his upcoming documentary ‘Wild Birds at European Festivals’. This guy has shown that the aesthetic quality of a bird, in the eyes of the notoriously shallow male bird, determined their nesting habits.
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We’ve noticed that the fittest birds at most European music events tend to locate themselves behind the decks. This is done in order to shield themselves from aggressive male predators often found violently swinging their beaks, eating mind altering seeds and profusely sweating over the more common birds who have not gained entry into the safe nest of the DJ booth.
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Typical fit bird behaviour behind the decks include taking selfies, wing-dropping and squawking inaudible and irrelevant track requests into the DJs’ ears.
A Popular DJ told us:
It’s true – all the fit birds fly to me when I’m behind the Technics. I fucking love birds, but it’s a bit of a pain because it is beginning to distract me from focusing my efforts on intoxication. Just keep those fucking magpies away from me, last time I partied with them they robbed my limited edition Macbook.
An anomaly to the documentary maker’s thesis was found at festivals that headlined Nina Kraviz; flocks of aggressive male birds forced themselves behind the decks, scaring all the ‘fit’ female birds away. Ten Walls attracted no birds. “I am yet to understand why” he added.
