Your brain figures that the whole earth probably isn’t actually spinning around you, so it takes the inner ear’s lies with a pinch of salt and tries to adjust. This is fine on your normal stroll back from the pub/club/field (as long as you’re not on your bike) but as we all know, once you’re in a dark room with your eyes closed, all hell can break loose. Your brain isn’t getting any direction from your eyes anymore so it has nothing to rely on but the screwed up jelly in your inner ear screaming “the earth’s crust is rotating around your head…. you are in danger, you should definitely produce some puke to make it stop immediately”.

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Added to that, your central nervous system (CNS) is also a bit buggered by the booze. The CNS normally makes light work of gauging what’s going on, via your senses, and then making sure your body does the appropriate action. For instance, if a tennis ball flies towards your face, you duck or catch it, whereas when you’re drunk you just watch it in a daze until it hits you right in the kisser. In a nutshell, that’s why walking is such an effort when smashed. No one is in the driving seat.

So there we are. Now, at least, we know what’s happening in our heads even if we don’t know what we’ve just done.

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