4. NOVELTY SINGING THINGS

I don’t remember when these stupidass things got invented, but it must have been back in the 80’s as some sort of thing to help paedophiles pull. Hot damn they’re annoying. And before you say it, I know that they’re not specific to 2014, I’m making up the rules here. You’d think that by 2014 they would’ve banned these things. To be honest, I’d rather have the nation swarming with suicidal terrorists than have these apparently cute little singing fluffy dicks dancing around and belting out Christmas tunes. The thing that annoys me most is that I didn’t see a hamster singing the rap version of “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day” whilst doing Gangnam Style, but I know it’s out there. Let’s use the National Lottery money to rid the world of these please. Thanks. You’ll thank me the next time you’re hungover whilst Christmas shopping and some little idiot turns on twenty of the little bitches . All slightly out of time, and scraping your brain to bits. Hell on earth.