2. PEOPLE POSTING PICTURES OF THEMSELVES SMOKING CIGARS ON THE INTERNET

If the internet had been invented in 1923, then I’m sure that our social streams would be full of retards posting photos of themselves smoking cigarettes. As it is, it’s now 2013 and at Christmas and on special occasions we still have people posting pictures of themselves smoking cigars. It’s not big and it’s not clever. So what if you and your old man have just cracked open a bottle of Laphroaig Whisky and you’ve a really big cigar to smoke. Who cares? No one wants to see a picture of it. If the picture sequence was continued, it’d show you throwing up black sick underneath the Christmas table whilst your dad calls you a pussy.

Maybe it’ll be cool in a few years to share pictures of yourself sniffing coke on Christmas Day whilst you let off firearms into the air? I think it’s already acceptable in Bolivia. All I know is that all you’re doing is smoking. You’re not Hannibal from the A-Team, you’re a scrawny little reprobate with future lung cancer. If you want something thin and brown in your mouth for next Christmas, I’ll send you one of my vegan turds that I’ve got stored in formaldehyde.