The other day we posted up 5 reasons why cats have the best life. I still stand by that, but for some reason I feel like dogs got an unfair dressing down. Not that I think for one minute that the dumb fucks give a furry white dog shit.

It is certainly true that many, many, many dogs are thick as shit, but it’s not as if all humans are 100% genius grade is it? Intelligence is neither the key to a good life nor the making of a good man. Thick people can have a great life (Joey Essex) and be genuinely nice people (Joey Essex, probably).

I thought that today I would attempt to redress the balance a touch. After all, dogs are supposed to be a man’s best friend ain’t they? There must be something good to say about them.

For the purpose of this article I will try to forget my dog allergy; it tends to make me paint dogs in a negative light. No one likes asthma though, right?

So, if fatty boy Buddha got it right, and reincarnation is a thing, it wouldn’t be so bad coming back as a dog, would it? Here’s some grade A+ reasons:

They Got Options

Image VIA

Dog’s can lick their balls. Now, I’ve heard a lot of people say that if they could lick their balls, they would lick their balls. I can quite confidently say that even if I could lick them, I wouldn’t bother. They don’t exactly look inviting do they?

A couple of marbles in a corduroy jacket. Nope.

My point is, dogs have the choice. They can lick them if they want. They’ve got options. When they’re outside, they are allowed to piss on anything they fancy. Humans would get arrested for attempting the same.

Dogs also get the pleasure of licking, or simply sniffing, any other dogs arse that they fancy. Again, I’m not partial to smelling stink holes myself, but it’s nice to have the option.

Hmmmm… I feel like shouting at the top of my lungs in the middle of the night. You know what? I’m a dog, so I’m just going to go for it. I have mother fucking options.

(Click through the slides using the left and right arrows)