#15 – Phil “Steptoe” Neville. Manchester United, Everton. With a dad called Neville Neville, a brother who has successfully grown a rat on his face and an inability to manage a single acceptable haircut in 15 years as a professional footballer, Phil Neville really is butters. Whether it was his  brief period as a bleach blonde highlighted mess in his early Everton career or his needless hack on a Romanian that put England out of Euro 2000 that got him on this list – we all know it was his pug nosed goblin face that kept him on it.