So this guy’s weird looking right? Like the love child of Admiral Akbar from Star Wars (the fish guy) and one of the Thunderbirds. His name is Shep. He’s talking about two Republican politicians called Newt and Mitt. Nothing else needs to be said about that.

His reaction to the statement released by Mitt Romney after Newt Gingrich left the running is pretty special. You wouldn’t catch Trevor McDonald lapsing so easily into what he actually thought.  So this is refreshing. I know fvck all about American politics (except that Republican = ‘pro-life’, evolution-is-the-devil mental, right?) but I think Shep’s probably right – politics is weird and creepy and lacks even the loosest attachment to anything like reality. Good for you Shep.

Apparently, as soon as he finished his slot, Shep took off his shoes, tied his tie around his head and walked out of the studio. He walked for three hundred and nine miles in his bare feet before he was overcome by exhaustion and collapsed. He has since been admitted to the Sierra Vista Mental Health Institute where he writes all his reports on the hospitals walls, in his own shit.

That last bit is mostly made up.

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