4.  Hungry Jesus Has A Go At A Tree

Matthew 21:19, Mark 11:13-14

Jesus is hungry. He comes across a barren fig tree and demands it produce him some fruit, but as it’s a fig tree it is unable to respond (the author was trying to keep things realistic here) and so Jesus curses the tree to death.

Why did Jesus get so angry with the tree? What does this story contribute to Jesus’s legacy? Was Jesus tripping balls? None of these questions are really answered.

3. God’s arse

Exodus 33:23

It’s Moses’s big moment — he’s about to meet God face to face for the first time. He readies himself on a rock ready for the big meet but God backs out at the last minute and basically says “I can show you my face, but I’ll have to kill you afterwards.”

He does let Moses have a good look at his arse though:

And I will take away mind hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.

Cheers God.