6. 100 Foreskins

Kings 18:25-27

David wants to marry Saul’s daughter Michael, and says he will literally do anything if Saul can make that happen.

What does Saul ask for? Money? Women? Eternal gratitude?

Nope — foreskins. Plural. He wants 100 foreskins and he wants them tomorrow, for apparently no reason whatsoever. That is simply the challenge he sets young David to prove he’d do anything for his daughter.

David goes out and kills 200 men (he later realises he only needed to kill 100) and hands over twice as many foreskins to Saul which must have earned him infinite brownie points because he got the girl.

5. More Foreskin

Exodus 4:24-26

God is displeased with Moses because his son isn’t circumcised and so tries to kill him because after all he’s merciful and fair.

God is about to annihilate Moses when suddenly his wife Zipporah comes to the rescue, cutting off their son’s foreskin and throwing it at Moses’ feet.

“You are a bloody husband to me!” she yelled at him. God thought he’d better leave them to it and backed off.