8. Onan Spills His Seed

Genesis 38.8-1

The reason why God kills Er remains a mystery (maybe he was having a bad day?), but thankfully his brother Onan was still around to have sex with his dead brother’s wife and provide the family with a ‘true heir’.

Onan went to work on the lady, but in a moment of madness decided to pull out at the last minute and “spill his seed upon the ground”.

Unimpressed, God kills Onan too, and nobody get an heir. D’oh.

7. What The Fuck?

Judges 19:22 — 30

A man and his concubine (mistress) seek shelter on the streets, and happen upon a kind man who lets them stay at his place.

At some point during the night a gang of men show up at this man’s home and demand to have sex with the male guest. The owner refuses them, and offers up his virgin daughter instead (WHAT?). The men don’t want the daughter though, so the owner offers them his male guest’s mistress.

That they are happy with, and so they rape the woman and leave her on the doorstep of the man’s home to bleed to death.

Then guess what happens? Her husband discovers her body and chops it up into 12 pieces, sending a piece each to the 12 tribes of Israel. Lovely.