You’re supposed to get less terrified of things as you get older, but I see so many videos showcasing the horrors of the deep that my ocean phobia just gets worse and worse. The proper word for this, according to Google is Thalassophobia. At least now I’ve got a word for my lily-livered landlubbing shame.

I’m not sure where the footage below comes from but it looks lovely… except for the massive hammerhead shark just off the coast. To be fair the shark doesn’t seem like he’s particularly interested in the humans, but having something that huge and well tooled in the water near me would shake me up a treat.

Check this out:

So I’ll be going nowhere near the sea for the foreseeable future. There’s simply no need. There are perfectly clean and safe swimming pools I could use. The ocean is not my natural environment, so I’m leaving it to all the massive things with dead eyes and unnecessarily big mouths.