I have seen some pretty weird stuff on the Brighton section of Gumtree but this might just take the proverbial. A person, gender and age unknown, who claims to have spent 3 years living alone on St Lawrence Island (a sparsely inhabited island in the Arctic ocean, part of Alaska but closer to Siberia) wants a lodger who will dress up as a walrus because they are missing their walrus friend ‘Gregory’.

Apparently after leaving the island our protagonist was “heartbroken” and wants someone to roll around in a walrus suit catching shellfish he or she chucks at them. In return you get free rent. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me! The poster plays accordion which gives me great mental images of a bearded adventurer serenading Gregory on some icy outcrop of rock in the Bering Strait.

Now I’m fully aware this might be complete bullshit or someone with a weird fetish for people in walrus costumes or whatevs but I thought it was too good not to report on. I applied for the job (just research for Sick Chirpse of course) and have yet to get a response, maybe one of you will have more luck.

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