5. A Solitary Text Message
After all you don’t want to spend any actual money or effort on this person, you just want to hit them where it hurts for your own amusement because you’re a monster. Take inspiration from the Texts From Your Ex account on Instagram, on there are countless examples of great messages and then a whole bunch of really stupid ones. Don’t be getting all overly emotional and confessing your lamewad feelings because that’s not the point of this exercise, we’re here to aggravate them with as little as possible. Execution is everything and the more pointless the message, the better. If they respond and you don’t have an amazingly thought out witty comeback, just leave it and pretend it never happened.
However if you don’t feel comfortable pointlessly trolling your ex, perhaps you could use this time to ask them for a genuine review of their past experience as being your evidently better half to bulk up your Tinder profile. Hopefully you’ll find an actual date in time for Valentines Day.
