I’m not really sure why anyone would flush their own drugs down the toilet – surely if you bought them then you would actually want to do them yourself rather than just throw them away? – but despite not understanding this, a US police department is warning people against flushing meth down their crappers because it could to the birth of ‘meth-gators’.

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The statement has come courtesy of the Loretto Police Department in Tennessee, who said the following after they searched the house of a suspected drug dealer named Andy Perry and caught him trying to flush his stash:

Folks… please don’t flush your drugs m’kay. When you send something down the sewer pipe it ends up in our retention ponds for processing before it is sent down stream.

Now our sewer guys take great pride in releasing water that is cleaner than what is in the creek, but they are not really prepared for meth. Ducks, Geese, and other fowl frequent our treatment ponds and we shudder to think what one all hyped up on meth would do.

Furthermore, if it made it far enough, we could create meth-gators in Shoal Creek and the Tennessee River down in North Alabama. They’ve had enough methed up animals the past few weeks without our help.

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I mean yeah to be fair they have got a bit of a point there haven’t they? Don’t wanna be seeing any of these animals high on meth because think about how gross and disgusting humans are when they’re cracked off their faces. They’re absolutely awful – just check out these pictures if you don’t believe me – so maybe it’s right that the police are issuing these warnings?

Although are drug dealers really going to listen to them when they’re desperately trying to avoid arrest? Probably not but I suppose it’s worth a try.

Weirdest thing about all this though is that it has a Mr Mackie from South Park reference in it? What are they hoping to achieve with that?

In fairness, there is a new horror movie coming out pretty soon based around mutant alligators that looks like it’s going to be dope. It’s called Crawl and maybe this is just some kind of elaborate viral marketing campaign for that? Just an idea.