Last month we brought you an update on Urban Dictionary’s most disgusting sex acts and boy were they gross.
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You guys just can’t get enough of these, so we thought we’d bring ten more bizarre and grimy methods people have come up with to get themselves and their partners off. You know, just to brighten up your week and get you through hump day. So here goes – ten more revolting sex acts as described by the Urban Dictionary:
10. Tony Danza
Definition: When you are giving it to a chick from behind, you yell out “Who’s the boss?” She’ll get confused, turn her head around, at this moment, you donkey punch her in the face and then scream TONY DANZA!!!
Use it in a sentence: Oh man, I totally pwned Jeff’s girlfriend last week when I gave her a Tony Danza.
9. Kentucky Tractor Puller
Definition: The act of a male and a male or male and a female preforming anal sex. During sex the receiver clenches their butt-cheeks tightly and runs with the penis still in the buttocks.
Use it in a sentence: Last night my boyfriend scared me during sex by putting it in my butt so I ran away. Little did I know I accidentally gave him a Kentucky Tractor Puller.
8. The Unicorn
Definition: Following in the tradition of “the Dirty Sanchez”, this is a sexual act. This can only be done to a girl with hair at least 8 inches long. While she is sleeping you ejaculate in her hair, aiming to the front, specifically. Then, take a small clump of her hair,a t the very front and center, and pull it straight up till it’s taut. Rubbing the seminal fluid and holding the hair until it dries, she will wake up with her hair resembling that distinguishing feature of a unicorn.
Use it in a sentence: My girlfriend was being incredibly rude, and I was sick of it. So after she fell asleep, I rubbed one out and gave her The Unicorn and left for good.
7. Space Dock Fondue
Definition: A variation on the classic “Space Dock”, generally reserved for party situations. Here, one female is chosen to serve as the “fondue pot.” One male, who has taken a gentle laxative, shits watery diarrhea into the woman’s vagina, thus filling the “space dock fondue pot.” Next, each man at the party takes turn in dipping his hard pole into the fondue pot, coverinig it with shit. Finally, each man’s partner licks the feces off his shit-encrusted cock, as if it were a chocolate covered banana.
Use it in a sentence: I have to take a big, liquid shit. How about I fill up Suzi with my ass juice and we have a space dock fondue party?
6. Smashturbating
Definition: When one equips themself with “Hulk Hands” and then proceeds to masturbate.
Use it in a sentence: I caught my sixteen year old smashturbating with his Christmas present.
5. Cleveland Hot Waffle
Definition: The act of shitting on a woman’s chest and then smacking the pile of shit with a tennis racket.
Use it in a sentence: The bitch got out of hand so I gave her a good ‘ol Cleveland hot waffle to shut her up.
4. Ballcuzi
Definition: Place your nuts in a bowl of warm water. Then have a girl put a straw into the bowl and blow bubbles under your balls. Rubber ducky is optional of course.
Use it in a sentence: Their hot tub was broken, so Lee and Jordan took turns in the ballcuzi.
3. Denver Dripping Donkey Doorknob
Definition: The Denver Dripping Donkey Doorknob is when a man ejaculates onto a doorknob and waits on the other side until someone opens the door. When the other person walks through the door the man pulls down his pants, bends over. and defecate all over the person’s crotch
Use it in a sentence: Aw man someone totally pulled the Denver Dripping Donkey Doorknob on me. There was cum on my hands and shit all over my penis.
2. Tallahassee Night Train
Definition: The act of ejaculating into a sock and then hitting someone in the face with said soiled sock. This act is preferably done while yelling “BOOM! T.N.T.!” at the moment of impact (the T.N.T. of course standing for “Tallahassee Night Train”).
It is advised that any victim of a Tallahassee Night Train must well and truly deserve it, otherwise any repercusions experienced later by the perpitrator at the hands of the victim is completely legal, in accordance with the Standard Dude Code. (Section 3-32C – “If you hit anyone in the face with your jizz, they better deserve it, or they have the full right to kick your ass.”)
Use it in a sentence: Oh man. Eddie found out Lance banged his girlfriend last night. So he dumped her and gave him a Tallahassee Night Train.
1. hartford hot sauce
Definition: The guy gets ready for anal sex by appearing to apply lubricant to the condom. He secretly switches the lube for Icy Hot (or Ben Gay if that’s the way you swing).The challenge is to complete the act before the burning begins.
Use it in a sentence: She “lost” the tickets to the Red Sox game on the same night the ballet was in town,so I gave her the Hartford Hot Sauce.
I hope for you and your partner’s sake, you don’t try any of those at home. For more of the same, click HERE.
