We haven’t really been covering Tyson Fury’s attempts to fight Olexsandr Usyk and finally crown an undisputed world heavyweight champion with all the belts here on Sick Chirpse, but I’m fairly certain that you would have heard about it through the usual networks because it’s been quite a well publicised, annoying chain of events for everyone involved.

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To cut a long story short, Fury offered Usyk a 70/30 split for the fight – a bit of a diss really – which Usyk accepted, but then kicked up a fuss about a rematch clause in the contract and ‘some other stuff’ that caused Usyk to walk away from the fight. Obviously Fury isn’t keen on this narrative even though it seems to be truthful and has decided to take to Instagram to call Usyk a coward and also announce that his wife Paris is pregnant with his seventh child (skip to about 30 seconds):

Usyk you little s***house, you proper little s***bag.

Bog-eyed, gappy-teethed, ugly little rat b***ard.

You little slimy f***er – tried all week to get a rematch like a little girl, you got your rematch and didn’t even want to fight at that.

You little s***house p***y.

Always know p***y that you was [sic] never man enough to tangle with the Gypsy King ever in your life, you little s***house.

You little 14-stone coward.

You little s***bag, you rat little b***ard.

And your full team know it as well, and all the lawyers have got the full information, you little ugly b***ard.

Keep running, fight [British WBA (Regular) heavyweight champion Daniel] Dubois at the Copper Box now s***bag, and always know that you – or anybody else like you – could never tangle with the Gypsy King you s***house little coward.

Geez he’s pretty angry there isn’t he? And trying to make out that it isn’t his fault that the fight isn’t happening, but who’s to know at this point? It certainly sounded like it was down to him during all the coverage this week, not really sure how we can know that though.

Anyway, I’m sure we can all agree that Ii’s so annoying that these guys can’t just agree to a fight, make loads of money off the PPV buys, beat each other up and then see who’s the greatest and finally become the undisputed champion. That’s what everyone wants to see right, who cares about a rematch clause? If the fight demands it then just make it happen. Easy.

Congratulations on your seventh child as well I suppose Fury.

For more of the same, check out Tyson Fury saying that the secret to his success is masturbating seven times a day. Unusual training method.