As if. I’ve been to quite a lot of pubs right, not because I’m George Best, just because I’ve lived in quite a few places. Never, not in all my long years of getting utterly shitfaced drunk on fuckin’ Stella in pubs like a don lad, never has anyone tried to make me bet that they couldn’t do something dumb at a pool table. And even if they had I’m sure I would have just said something like:  “Fuck off mate I’m trying to play pool.” Especially if they looked like Paul Wilson. He possesses all the grace and poise of a fridge and he looks like a moderator for an online wrestling forum. What kind off asshole would accept a bet in that situation? No one. That’s who. The marks are actors. It’s a con isn’t it? Oh the unbearable irony.

I think I saw one where he was shooting craps in a suitcase in the back of his car in some hotel parking lot in Vegas at 5am. He had weighted dice or something, which apparently he’d been practicing with for ages so he always won.

Yeah, so next time that happens to you, you be sure to walk away.

First of all, if I was in a Vegas car park at 5am I’d probably be in quite serious trouble already, fairly sure I wouldn’t start shooting craps in someone’s Mondeo. Secondly, if I wanted to shoot craps in Las Vegas, I probably wouldn’t go to the car park first. And finally, what kind of Vegas hustler would be trying to make a midnight buck with his suitcase and some weighted dice that are really hard to use?  You could triple your income cleaning toilets at K.F.C. It’d definitely be more fun anyway. Shit, you’d probably have more luck trying to fire snooker balls out yer arse in Rileys.

I’m not gonna talk about the one with her tits out all over the shop because she appears on the show for only one reason. If you don’t know what that reason is then next time the folks are round and The Real Hustle is on, wait for her to appear and see how long it takes for your dad to reach for the cushion.

Tune in next time to find out why I fucking hate Bodger and Badger. Not really, I haven’t decided yet. I’ll probably just dribble on about Skins or Ice Dancing or something.

See ya there buddies.

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