I made a joke earlier about how now that the apocalypse has happened toilet paper would replace cold hard cash and it looks like I might actually be right as a truck has literally just been pulled over in the United States with over 8000kg of stolen toilet paper.

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I’m not sure how many rolls 8000kg of toilet paper equates to here, but it sounds and looks like a lot. The discovery went down in Guidlford County, North Carolina so I’ll let you read the official police report of what actually happened (whilst simultaneously laughing at how it looks like how it was formatted by some boomer with no idea what he was doing on Word 97 – the clipart, badly sized pictures of the badge and sheriff in the corner are just too much):

That report is just too dumb isn’t it? But it is interesting how this dude stole so much toilet paper, probably because he knows how valuable it’s going to be in the future and how much money he’ll be able to get for it as well.

Too bad he got caught – but who knows how many other people are out there stockpiling it at the moment? Could be serious currency when the world is a wasteland in a couple of months.

For more of the same, check out this DJ selling toilet paper and making £3000 in two hours. Bastard.