5) Bestiality Blues

Paul Lovell, a 61-year-old IT consultant, has been arrested for molesting sheep and cows near Tottenham Hotspur’s football ground. He was spotted on September the 4th by Lawrence Stephen and his girlfriend Natasha Brennan who were having a lovely picnic in the area. They saw Paul trying to get a cow to lick or suck his giblets. Apparently he was just wearing shoes and socks at the time. He had no luck with the cows so moved on to some sheep.

Here’s the full story from Tim Williams: Man Accused Of Giving A Cow A Blow Job Faces Jail Time

Now. I don’t want to incur the wrath of animal lovers, but is this so bad? The judge is talking about jail time here, I don’t want my hard-earned tax dollar to be spent paying for his bed and breakfast. He’s no danger to anyone. As long as the animals aren’t harmed can’t we just let him be?

The fact that everyone now knows what he looks like is enough surely, the man will be hounded.

And as for Lawrence and Natasha that dobbed him in: shame on you.

☛ More: Women Snogging Chimps For LOLz