2) The Sentencing Of The Sheep Lover
You may remember the strange case of Mr Lovell that the resplendent Tim Williams wrote about on these hallowed pages a few weeks ago. The full story is here:
Man Accused Of Giving A Cow A Blow Job Faces Jail Time
In brief a couple of people having a picnic noticed him naked except for socks and carrying a can of Skol trying to get a bit sexy with a cow. The bovine beauty rebuked him so he tried his luck with a sheep. The police were called and the poor fellow got in trouble. I don’t know why I feel sorry for him, it’s a pretty odd thing to do, but it doesn’t sound like the animals cared at all so whatever.
In court the “horrified” witness Lawrence Stephen, 23, told the court: “He seemed like he was very comfortable with what he was doing – as if it was normal. He was trying to thrust his waist towards the cows and using his hands to get the cow’s mouth towards his crotch. I can’t remember him forcing the cow – he wasn’t actually grabbing the cow, but he was trying what he could”.
Another aspect to this story that amused me is that whenever a website covers it they mention that it took place next to the Tottenham Hotspur training ground, as if that has some bearing on the matter, or that they were to blame or something?
Mr Lovell maintained his innocence but it’s pretty difficult to explain away trying to get a blowy from a cow. After being told the details of the case the jurors were told by Judge James Patrick to get over their giggling fit. Mr Lovell got a four-month custodial sentence suspended for 18 months.
☛ Now: Senegalese Best Sheep Contest
