With Easter coming up you might expect a bit of respectful decorum from the world at large. Not so, things have been as eloquently daft as ever. The guy above is a fella called Bao Jiagen, and he’s holding a radish if you couldn’t guess. Apparently it looked like a human before someone at the market pulled its head off. It looks more like a blood blister to me, but who’s counting?

Here’s your top 5 of the week…

5) Escapology

A toddler in Lincoln, Nebraska this week did a runner from his family’s home. There aren’t many details as to why he legged it so I’m going to use a bit of artistic licence – he ran from home because he wanted his chance at fame, he was desperate to escape the confines of his comfy middle class life etc.

His parents pooped in their panties when they couldn’t find him of course, that’s the normal response. The police were called and I’m assuming there was tears all round. But not for little Kael Ireland, he was in his element. He’d managed to sneak into Madsen’s Bowling and Billiards club and clamber into the hallowed claw machine.

According to staff he was just sat in there chilling out and playing with the toys. Without a care in the world. They couldn’t work out how he got in there so they had to call the machine’s manufacturers to talk them through dismantling the thing.

Kael got a teddy bear for his troubles and the parents got their kid back. What a cool little fella.

☛ Next: Unsettling Scenes From Chinese Toy Factories