4) Satanic Lego

I think that bringing up a child in this confusing modern world of ours must be pretty tricky. There’s a lot going on all of the time and it must be a mission to try and stop yourself from worrying whether you’re making the right decisions. I bet it’s important to get advice from people who know best with a lot of experience with kids.

I’m not sure who I would get advice from, probably my Mum would come first in line, but do you know who would be the last on my list of people to ask advice about kids?: the Catholic church, and here’s another example of why.

Vampiric Catholic extraordinaire Father Slawomir Kostrzewa has made the news this week by saying that Lego is the work of the devil. I mean of all the things in this world that are dodgy, surely Lego could be left out? Thankfully Kostrzewa is only concerned about the Lego’s series of Monster Fighters and Zombie mini-figures, phew. He said the figures ‘were about darkness and the world of death’.

He went on to say that “Friendly fellows have been replaced by dark monsters. These toys can have a negative effect on children. They can destroy their souls and lead them to the dark side”. In the past the idiot has also lashed out at Hello Kitty and My Little Pony – now COME on!?

The funny thing is, he presumably wholeheartedly approves of reading the Bible to children. Here’s a couple of little gems from that book of light: a flood that kills pretty much everyone in the entire world, Satan, plagues, a woman who gets turned into a pillar of salt for turning round, a bloke who gets nailed to a tree for no reason and a chap who’s murdered by a tent-peg through the temple. And that’s just the start of it. Father Slawomir Kostrzewa get your own house in order.

☛ Next Up: 20 Iconic Bands Recreated In LEGO