Scientists are theorising that the Pinot noir and Pinot meunier grapes used to make champagne may be able to prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s disease and dementia, which sounds like great news for everyone as it’s an excuse to drink champagne three times a week.

What isn’t such great news though is that the scientists from Reading University (not sure if that’s one of the top universities in the world) are basing this information on results they obtained from testing on rats. As we all know, rats aren’t exactly humans but scientists do generally have some idea what they’re doing, so there must be some truth to the matter.

They’re looking to make their findings empirically sound as soon as possible though by testing on old age pensioners, so if you’re in Reading and fit that demographic then try and hit them up so you can get pissed three times a week for three. And also maybe prolong the onset of dementia, which is definitely an added bonus too.

Featured Image VIA

Image VIA

Professor Jeremy Spencer had the following to say about the experiment:

The results were dramatic.

This research is exciting because it illustrates for the first time that moderate consumption of champagne has the potential to influence cognitive functioning such as memory.

However, an anonymous spokesman for the Alzheimer’s Society merely commented that the experiment was ‘interesting’ and that ‘a lot more research is needed before we reach any conclusions’.

Doesn’t sound like he’ll be cracking the bubbly any time soon does it? Still, the rest of us might as well do it a bit more often – if we can afford it – as it might help us all out in later life now. Bonus.

And if you want to open your champagne in style, then make sure you do it with a 50 calibre rifle.