i do your ironing – m4w – 48 (gwent)

I willing to do your ironing what will you offer ? looking for female any age/size looking for best offer x

Lick her? – mw4m – 35 (Mid Wales)

Hi,

I’m looking for a man to seduce my wife (30 curvy) and encourage her to bring you home.

She must not be aware of this advert – she might not want to go all the way but I think we can certainly get some oral action going and then who know?

She loves the fantasy of another man but struggles to put it into reality.

60yo Caerphilly man looking for wank buddy of similar age – m4m – 60 (Caerphilly)

Fed up of wanking on my own and want to meet a mate who’s looking for the same. No hidden agenda, just enjoy our cocks together. Either at mine or at yours. I’m 60yo. Nice cock. Pleasant and clean.

 real sub-girl needed to please her new master – m4w – 32 (cardiff)

master needs a new sub-girl to please him,be taught obedience lessons,light spankings,aim to please girls,i dont take any prisoners,must love gagging on a big cock,mutual play,smut,clean girls who do as they are told,i expect a lot so dont waste my time unless you serious,age looks unimportant as long as your eager to please

Clean man seeking foot play off woman – m4w – 23 (Cardiff)

23, male, clean.. looking for a woman for some NSA foot play, and to give me my first foot job. Looks unimportant. Can accom but would prefer to travel. Thanks 🙂

prostate massage – m4w – 45 (cardiff)

hi looking for a woman to give me a very intense prostate massage available till 3pm today & tomorrow please message with pic mine in return

Sub slut – t4m – 20 (Bridgend)

Submissive closet transsexual here looking to have some fun with anyone. A masochist at heart so the rougher the better. Will suck to completion and always swallow… can’t have wonderful cum going to waste.
Tight ass which stretches easily so anyone interested in stretching and fisting always welcome…. all kinks considered just let me know and I’m sure we can come to an agreement…. xx

animal sex – m4m – 18 (port talbot)

looking for someone with a horse. want to watch and possibly get involved. message me if your an owner or know someone

Already posted this but lost the emails so couldn’t reply. If you sent one please send it again! 😛

Seeking young Girls For fun 16-20- Will Pay Very well – m4w – 30 (Cardiff)

Professional 30 year old guy (attractive and athletic build) looking to have some fun with a Attractive young girl. Must be discreet (as Im married) and clean. I can not accommodate so either yours or at Hotel in Cardiff, I will pay you very well for just 2 hours of your time. 100% Genuine people only please. Please reply with pic or skype address so i can verify you are genuine.

LADY WITH SMELLY SHOES REQUIRED – m4w – 39 (South Wales)

Lady with smelly shoes required, age and looks unimportant, to masturbate me while I smell them. Please get in touch with details of prices and shoes.

Due to the amount of spam replies please put smelly shoes in the subject box. Also not interested in hearing from men.

Thanks

looking 4 female to breed – m4w – 44 (swansea)

Hi As the title say, im looking for someone to breed hopefully long term, but one off’s ok
If your kinky and submissive thats good, i enjoy bondage, control, spanking, im single, can accom or travel, your pic gets mine.

Naked pull ups 😉 – m4mw

Ground floor flat window will be wide open I’m gonna do naked pull ups who wants to c a fit lad training naked ?

good looking plumber/builder work for sex – m4w – 30 (cardiff)

As it says really, any odd jobs, big or small from a leaky tap to a whole new bathroom..I have all the necessary equipment and experience 😉

dog / horse? – m4m – 29 (south wales)

I want dirty animal sex with either horse or big dog. Any owners about? let me know guys

All Women read this £££ – m4w – 39 (Pembroke)

SHORT OF CASH? Who isn’t? Here is an easy solution. The triple dip recession buster. Read on.

I am a very busy good looking, friendly 39 year old male. Have a great toned body, very clean and totally discreet. Looking for a nice lady to have some summertime fun. Can be young, mature, large or small. Married, single mum, student.

A great cash reward given for your time. NO hassle NO endless emailing. Meet in public first, Agree a deal, Paid by the hour for your time and company. On a fun day out. All sorted 🙂

All welcome to reply married, single mums, students trying to make ends meet. Aged between 18 and 45. Must be local within 30 miles. Must be clean and genuine with nice personality. Simples! 🙂 NO MEN Thank you.

Are you pregnant??? – m4w – 38

Would really like to hook up for some NSA fun with a pregnant lady in the Cardiff area. Discretion assured

Looking For A ThreeSome Involving A Female Dog – m4m – 21 (Swansea)

Looking For A Bi Threesome Involving A Female Dog I Don’t Have The Dog Please Send A Pic 100% Legit

HAIRY/UNSHAVED/NATURAL – m4w – 45 (S.WALES)

Nice looking, clean male seeks hairy, unshaved, natural woman for long nights of hot, steamy NSA fun. Non-smokers only.

Premature? – ‘m4w – 32 (Cardiff(ish))

I typically arrive early. I can promise lots of enthusiasm and a truly mediocre time.

If you want to settle for second, or third, best, get in touch with a picture.’

Join my harem – m4ww – 25 (Gwynedd)

I just want a harem… is that so much to ask? You just need to be female, no younger than 18, no older than twice my age, and it is a bonus if you want to play with other harem members. Thank you.

I don’t know what I want… – m4w – 30 (Cardiff)

And neither do you, but by virtue of the fact I’m writing – and you’re reading – this, we’ve got something in common already!

Perhaps you watch movies or read books about the affairs of men and women and secretly yearn for something not quite as standard as the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing?

Maybe you’re married and technically happy but you wish to complicate things a little just for the thrill and experience of being able to say ‘I lived’ when you’re older?

Maybe this quote hits a chord – ‘Are you but breathing a little, and calling it a life?’

I’m a complicated (inside), easy- going (outside), nice, educated, friendly, decent-looking, married, emotionally mature 30 yr old guy searching for something – a friendship, an affair, an one- off encounter, naughty texts or emails that never go anywhere, coffee at lunchtimes, sharing thoughts on books, whatever really.

What I can promise is that I will treat you nicely, I won’t mess up your life and I don’t have any sinister ulterior motives. Anything else that happens will just be fate… Or not, if you don’t believe in that.

I am of course looking for some emotional and erotic thrill from this so you’d need to be attractive, fun and not too shy. And female please. Age etc isn’t an issue although for fun’s sake, I think I’m looking for someone younger than me.

Well that’s it – the rest is up to you.

Hope to hear from you. You know if it’s you I hope to hear from.

J x

***

I know, right? All that terrible grammar and atrocious spelling; it’s enough to make you shudder. Brr. As to the content though, how do you feel? I mean, it’s not the most fucked up shit you’ve ever read, but there were some definite hard sells on there – some slimy cunts too, some slimy cheating cunts. I imagine that’s got you a couple of ways; comforted that you’re not the only one, or better still – not the weirdest one out there; educated that these things happen in real life too, not just on your monitor while you make love to a sock; annoyed that I just wasted a shit tonne of your time; offended that this was as far as it went; wholly aroused. If it’s either of the latter then feel free to jump on board, and go HERE, if you feel like this is something you’d like to be a part of, or if you want to check out the secret sex lives of your own local community, or maybe one of those adverts really tickled your fancy – by all means, do chase it up.

All who would like to keep swimming, you saw the link, feel free to do a few more lengths or dive a little deeper. For those of you who feel you might quite like a shower now; you are free to leave the pool at this point – your swimming lesson is over. I do advise that you have a shower though, because you look a fucking mess:

Of course it was, Randy, of course it was…