I remember first arriving at University all the way back in September 2008. The mood was electric and the air was damp (it was Manchester), and all around me were bright young faces, all safe in the knowledge that they’d made it. Whether you were the first in your family to reach a redbrick, or coming from a long dynasty of Original (Oxford) Dons, there was this sense that you were bettering yourself, preparing yourself for the world that lay beyond the walls of halls, and you were gonna get blind drunk in the process.

There was also the safety of knowing that, although the economic climate in the real world was cloudy with a chance of Armageddon, we were all safe while institutionalised. Nearly five years have passed since I was that arsehole of a fresher, hanging up that Che poster I bought at HMV and handing out cheap beers because OF COURSE that makes you best friends 4 lyf. What hasn’t passed is this fucking recession, and now here I am, spat out of the system at 24 with a degree and a masters looking for my first paid job. I’m seriously wondering which will come first; employment or losing my hair. I’m sure there are thousands of you out there (youth unemployment is currently at 974,000) in exactly the same position.

But this isn’t about how the world owes our ‘lost’ generation a favour, how we’re all entitled to our dream job because we pissed away our student loan on M-Cat and Jägerbombs. This is about how we’re keeping ourselves unemployed, and it’s all the internet’s fault.