You’re strolling down to the beach with several crates of beer (you might want a trolley) getting ready for another tough day in the sun. The conversations are rolling; the spliffs are burning; and there’s a sea of scantily-clad girls in front of you. So it’s probably best to crack open a beer before they turn horrifically warm. Shit…

Nobody has a bottle opener. Luckily, there is always somebody who can pop open those bottles of nectar with a lighter. But that’s boring. Why use a lighter when a motorbike wheel will do, or a skateboard, or a machete…you get the idea. Of course, some methods are more successful than others; I wouldn’t recommend drinking from a broken bottle, but then again, it is blasphemous to waste beer.

So next time you ask somebody for a lighter to open your beer, stop. Go one better, flop out your wang and say to your mates, “watch this!”