BRIAN MAY
Like Badger al-Assad, Brian May is a badger. He’s been very outspoken against the cull and that’s because he doesn’t want to die – as it’s not his time for at least another couple of years. May has been raising money for badgers by selling off Queen songs. Pro-badger butchers have bought ‘Another One Bites The Dust’ and will be playing the song every time they split one of the little cunt’s skulls in half. Brian May is distraught in his new leather loafers but can now afford to shave thirty-seven poodles in order to revitalise his once magnificent hairdo. It’s a little known fact that Brian May actually gave Freddie Mercury badger TB, and that’s how he died. Tanzanians can’t get AIDS.
