It seems like there’s a new spin on the ‘teacher having sex with students’ story every other week these days, but this one is definitely the cringiest we’ve heard so far as it features some of the worst chat up lines in history. So bad that they didn’t even work on underage girls.

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David Clune has two certificates for teaching mathematics and was a tenured member of the Black Horse Pike Regional School District. He was arrested in August 2014 after he sent over the 4th July weekend after he sent over 70 Facebook and text messages to these underage girls, including this one:

I always noticed u in the halls, between u and me…very hot and u look mature, wanna shoot the s*** and get baked…just me and u though…

Geez. Sounds like some of my pathetic MSN chat from back when I was 14. Clune’s excuses for his behaviour were even more pathetic:

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 I was under “considerable stress” as a result of my parents’ failing health.

Furthermore, my disabled wife did not go to the shore with me that Fourth of July weekend for a family party, causing me to become depressed and to overindulge in alcohol.

Sweet excuse dude – your disabled wife can’t hang out with you anymore so instead you’ll get baked with some hot underage girls from your school. Good plan dude and very sympathetic.

Needless to say, Clune’s certificates were revoked and he’s been placed on the sex offenders register. See ya.

For more of these kinds of stories, check out the two married teachers who both had affairs with their students independently of each other. Really.