If anyone out there is currently waiting to go under the surgeons knife let me just put your mind at rest: this operation was in Kazakhstan, it wasn’t a bungle by our living legends at the NHS. So you can sleep easy.

I’m more used to seeing X-rays of things that people have accidentally inserted in themselves, rather than bits and bobs that the surgeon has left behind. This is the stuff of nightmares. More than a decade ago, a Kazakh fella called Karp Ponomaryov went under the knife for life saving bowel surgery. The procedure seemed to have gone well at the time, i.e. he wasn’t dead.

The man went home to continue with his normal life, but all was not quite right. Whenever he ate a big meal he had excruciating pain in his abdomen. He shrugged it off, he was just happy to be alive.

Recently however he started losing his appetite and the pain got worse so he sought medical help. When the doctor who was treating him saw the X-ray he almost dropped his stethoscope. The 20 cm long scissors were just sat there lodged in his abdomen smiling at him. 20 cm? How on earth would you accidentally sew in a 20 cm pair of scissors after an operation?

The surgeon who did the dastardly deed wasn’t available to comment because he retired three-years-ago and has since died. Ponomaryov says he’s not looking to sue, but he would like them to get the scissors out of his stomach as soon as possible please.

At least the guy is getting it sorted out now, and it’s a lot less embarrassing than the woman who had those hideous butt implants that move about of their own accord. Good luck Ponomaryov I hope you recover well.