3. People Have Been Getting Their Dicks Nicked

Back in March anthropologists reported that a new wave of penis theft hysteria has been sweeping several African nations. Some kinky cannibal fetishist on the loose? No, the victims were simply touched by a stranger causing their genitals to instantly start shrinking until they disappeared completely. Obviously.

This fear is caused by a psychological disorder called koro, in which the victims believe their genitals are shrinking. In order to stop the shrinking process people have been know to securely tie their dicks in place with string or metal clamps, until a fully qualified shaman can come and work his magic on it. Psychologically it can be seen as an example of mass hysteria, one which is made possible by a widespread belief in witchcraft. Studies have shown that, whilst beliefs differ from country to country, on average 55% of the people in sub-Saharan Africa believe in witchcraft. According to a study published in 2005 in the journal Culture, Medicine and Psychiatry “At least 56 separate cases of genital shrinking, disappearance, and snatching have been reported in the last seven years [1998-2005] by news media of seven West African countries.”

The victims believe that their disappearing dick is caused by a touch or accidental brush from a stranger. In one reported case a 17 year old from Ghana was going to fetch water for his dad when he was touched from behind by someone, causing him to immediately feel his penis shrink until it was no longer visible. But much like that man in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, he got better. “Victims of genitalia-shrinking panics recover within hours or days after being convinced that the ‘illness’ is over or never existed, and most clearly lack any psychosexual problems,” says sociologist Robert Bartholomew. No victim of koro has ever died from the disorder, but the supposed perpetrators have not been so lucky, and many of them have been lynched in the street.

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