The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box (also located under this post) – every week we’ll be posting the best ones.

Here are the best from this week:

Lionkyyd

Anytime I’m shagging my girlfriend and thinking about another girl, a part of me worries that she can read my mind but can’t say anything otherwise her powers will be revealed

sufyan

Most weeks I only realise it’s Friday because Confessions goes up

TatsOutForHarambe

I made what I thought was a cracking photoshop of Conor McGregor with Harambe tattoo’d on his chest. I have been posting it on every fucking link relating to either of them. It’s had a total of 6 likes and I’m actually pretty annoyed about that.

dendog

I wank off to my ex way too much… only hate wank though, she’s a bitch

Dickheadinthecloset

I was recently cutting around Thailand with a love bite after passionately French kissing, what I thought in my inebriated state, was quite an attractive lady.  Obviously it was a lady boy and I only found out after she had added my friend on Facebook, after he fucked her twice and left a blood soaked condom on my head. Fun times

Sahara_Dick

I haven’t had sex for a good 6 months and I’m convinced when the opportunity presents itself I’ll fuck it up and go through another 6 month dry spell

Towel

I pay for direct debit towel service at my gym, I take a towel every time I go and always take them home so at the end of the month I’ll cancel the towel rental service and end up with a shit load of towels

Dontjudgeme

I’ve choked it to tranny porn the last three sessions

Reno11

I write with poorer handwriting than I actually have because a teacher called my handwriting “girly” 10 years ago

mclehman

Remember when you guys wrote about the Kylie Jenner sex tape leaking? Still waiting

Pacedropper

I once scored in the wrong hoop during a basketball game. Me and this kid were talking shit to each other and I was so fired up I jumped up for a rebound over everyone and put it right back in my own net. My brain just switched off for a split second. Never lived it down

Fruityboy

My girlfriend thinks we are going to go travelling together. But I’ve secretly planned to dump her a couple of months before so I can go on my own and pull backpackers all over the world.

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Well done guys and gals – you’ve done us proud. Well, maybe not proud. But thanks for submitting and if your confession didn’t feature, don’t sweat it – just submit a better one next time.

Get involved and submit your confession(s) directly below this post – see you next Friday.