LSDIsLife

Tinder match – she invites me to her grandparents free house to do the deed. I get there and bring some weed – we get baked outside. Go back to her bedroom and straight away, I lift her onto the bed and clothes are flying everywhere. Dry humping and then she gives me an excellent BJ. So far, so good. I return the favour and start fingering her until she cums.

Time to put the condom on. As I go to put it on, I smell a fish market. I decide to power through it, but as I go to put it in, I get erectile dysfunction for the first time in my life. It was as if the little guy was like “Nope – not going in there”. God bless her, she tries her best to resurrect it but my nose refuses to let my dick breathe.

Worst thing about it is I was her lift back to her house. I had to put the heating on full blast to get rid of ice on the window – and the whole car ended up stinking to the point I had to strategically cover my nose. I was polite and took the ego hit of letting her believe I suffer from erectile dysfunction. Maybe I should have just told her she needs to wash her vagina, or get it checked. All I know is I was freezing my bollocks off on the way home ’cause I had to drive with all four windows down to get rid of the smell!