Squelcher
Today I was in my dressing gown in the kitchen and I needed to fart. So I did, but it was not a fart. I shat all over the floor, all down my legs. It was a liquid, chocolate milkshakey consistency. I panicked over the idea of my flatmates finding out so I grabbed some of their damp clothes off a drying rack and mopped up the worst of it and threw it in a bin bag and into the dustbin. Luckily I’m a guy so she won’t accuse me of stealing her clothes.
