The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box — every Friday we’ll be posting the best ones.

Here are the best from this week:

(Click the arrow keys below to view confessions)

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I was about to go on my daily run when I saw this hot Catholic girl come out of the church on my road. I crossed myself before starting my run because I thought it would make her attracted to me. I’m a Jew FFS.