Confessions is back! Send your confessions in at [email protected] or DM us on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. Everything we publish is 100% anonymous – just give an alias you’d like us to use.

Let’s go…

[NO NAME]

Went for a happy ending massage and got a trainee girl who didn’t have a clue how to give a proper massage. With 5 minutes to go the madam came in to teach her how to “finish” the massage properly. So for those last 5 mins I had 4 hands down there playing with my cock. Really made up for those previous 55 minutes

[no name]

At 16/17 I was very drunk walking home from a house party at 2am when I saw some guys moving so I ended up helping them carry a tv + speakers etc out to a car. When I sobered up & told a friend about my good-deed I realised I probably helped them rob a house. Who moves at 2am?

[no name]

Best mate works for an ad agency & gives me the most insane discounts for radio spots, local billboards etc. He goes back & forth with me on email for every deal, pretending to haggle. My manager thinks I’m some kind of Alan Sugar

LOKI

My mate had a wrap of coke taken from him by the bouncer during our bar crawl. We were all splitting it and it was halfway through the night so it really killed our vibe. The bouncer was a massive dick about it and made a huge scene and kicked my mate out of the bar. Fast forward a few hours later as we were heading to one of the next bars we see a bunch of police surrounding a shitty Corsa in the carpark. Next thing we know the bouncer is getting handcuffed and put into the back of a police car. Apparently an undercover saw him doing key bumps. Poetic justice!

Past Tents

Caught my girl (now ex) at a music festival getting rawdogged in a tent. I landed a couple punches on the guy but he overpowered me, broke my jaw & kicked my face in. I was later charged with assault.

FINNY

Me and my mate missed our connecting flight because he wanted to do tequila shots at the airport bar. I really need to start taking charge more

DROPPEDONMYHEAD

As i near thirty i have begun to realise that i might actually have some kind of undiagnosed learning difficulty/special needs condition that was simply ignored at every stage of my development by an uncaring and negligent education system. I feel everyone would probably cut me some slack if they knew and consider my exceptionally modest work related achievements as being far better when viewed from that perspective.

SPORTS PIMP

One time I got super drunk and crashed at my buddys house. His mum (milf) wasnt in but I slept in her room, in the middle of the night i went through her drawers found a bra and wore it as a mask while i wanked off into the en suite sink. That was like 15 years ago and i still feel guilty about it

D MANZI

I saw my girlfriend’s ex boyfriend’s dick. Let’s just say I don’t measure up.

SPICYJAEGER

I’ve wanked off 5 times today. One was a mature and the other was a twerking black girl. Can’t remember what the other 3 were

ANGTUFFW

I have a vague recollection of being dragged out of a club by a bouncer for being drunk and bent over a rail while the bouncer dry humped me from behind. I was so wasted I don’t know how much it is true but I get flashbacks of this guy banging his crotch against my jeans/butt. Not sure what action to take if any. Dude had a ponytail as well

FN2197

Bumped into an old co-worker while drinking on the weekend. Started chatting and a couple hours later I was eating her pussy for about 30 minutes. Didn’t get laid though

MYLITTLESECRET

I get into arguments with trans activists on the internet all the time and am pretty mean to them to the point I always feel bad afterwards. Especially since I wank to shemale/femboy porn most nights.

BEEHINDTHEKEYBOARDS

Sometimes I wank off to naked pictures a girl I was seeing sent me 3 years ago, still the best shag I’ve ever had but the wanks are up there

MYLILSTONIE

I chatted up a 4/10 the other night because she was eating pizza in the street. Managed to get a slice.

EXTANT89

When I was in Vegas on a boys holiday I decided to splash some cash on a hooker. I ordered this sexy tight looking Korean girl in her early 20s for $200 an hour. When she arrived at my door an hour later it was clearly a bait & switch – she was a Korean woman in her 40s who couldn’t speak any English, had small boobs and no real ass to speak of. I thought fuck it she’s here now and went ahead with it. In the end it was the most mindblowing sex of my life. She fucked the absolute shit out of me, we did positions I never even knew about and she taught me a couple things that have helped me with sex in the long run. A very pleasant surprise. I’ll never forget that woman

—–

See you next Friday, you bunch of freaks.

[Send your confessions in at [email protected] or on our social media pages – don’t worry, we keep them 100% anonymous! Just send an alias if you want us to use one).