faceburner

I was at a house party at uni when I saw this girl who I had my eye on. We’re both drunk and we start talking and eventually dancing. We’re both talking shit and she tells me that her ex is here at the party with another girl. She’s clearly upset by it and start proper grinding and kissing me and grabbing my dick in front of him to make him jealous and I just roll with it. Anyway I look across the room and I see her ex screwfacing me, so drunk idiot that I am I wave at him while I grab a fat chunk of her arse. About 10 minutes later I’m walking to the bathroom and he does a run up and boots me in the back sending me flying into the door. First thing I realise is that my front two teeth are missing — they both got knocked clean out.

Now I’ve got two fake front teeth. I prefer not to taunt people’s exes these days.