The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box (also located under this post) – every week we’ll be posting our favourite ones.

Here are the best from this week:

astro project

I always make a point of being overly nice to fast food/restaurant workers. I’m legit terrified they’ll spit in my food for absolutely no reason

max 82

My nights over the last few months have consisted of getting high and playing Fortnite. I think I’m a loser…..

weealex

I love sneezing into my hands and wiping it on my girlfriend’s cat

seb pro

Whenevr I drop the soap in the shower I pretend like I’m in prison and pick it up without bending over

Shotgunshitter

After a rave I ended up at a student house party and as I took a piss outside I let out the fart but had the misfortune to follow through… No biggie, I thought. I went up to the bathroom to clean myself up except, being the scratty students they were, of course they didn’t have any bog roll for me and this runny mess. What they did have, however, was a laundry basket in the bathroom. What happened next stays between me, the laundry, and my own shitty boxers I threw in the same laundry basket. Fuck em.

firecartel

I’ve 23 and have had the same email and password since I was 12 years old.

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Well done guys and gals – you’ve done us proud. Well, maybe not proud. But thanks for submitting and if your confession didn’t feature, don’t sweat it – just submit a better one next time.

Get involved and submit your confession(s) directly below this post – see you next week. (Scroll all the way down).