2) Gravity Is A Dick

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Gravity is generally very reliable. Smaller things are attracted to bigger things, if you drop something it moves towards the floor. This is helpful in many situations, for instance, it ensures that when you take a turd it drops into the bog bowl rather than slowly trying to creep back inside of you or smearing itself all over your buttocks and balls.

Gravity is more than capable of attaching you to the floor permanently. It never takes a break. Sure, you’ll jump up in the air and escape it momentarily, but our old pal will always be there to drag you back down to earth whether you like it or not. There are plenty of skateboard videos demonstrating gravity’s unrelenting ability to smash people into the floor.

This reliable sticky force isn’t quite as reliable as we would like to think though.

Everyone knows gravity is strong, right? Wrong, it’s only strong when it comes to big objects. When we’re talking about small objects it’s as if it’s not even there. For instance, if you rub a balloon on your jumper you can then stick a piece of paper to that balloon and it will hang in mid-air completely ignoring gravity. Gravity looks the other way in shame. That tiny-weeny static charge completely overpowers the same gravity that keeps the moon spinning around the earth and the earth around the sun.

This problem is called the Higgs mass hierarchy problem and no one really knows what’s going on.