Scam! Fraud! and Scams! Recently, I have been amusing myself (and only myself) by replying to those scam emails that clog up everyones junk folder like a smarties tube full of minstrels.
Tis very addictive… I never imagined correspondence with imaginary people could be so enthralling. Mainly because they’ll literally take ANY ridiculous stuff you might say and just go with it, either swallowing the nonsense or just plain ignoring it, cheerily replying with an increasing air of desperation in the vain hope that you still might hand over your details. So – here are couple of examples of such correspondance, which (as the correspondance is still going) will be continued. Enjoy.
Amina Abubakar, Deaf & Dumb (and dead).
Date: Fri, 4 May 2012 15:18:17 +0100
From: [email protected]
Subject: Success Funds Transfer To You///
To:
Hi,
Sir or Madam good day. I am Amina Abubakar Deaf & Dumb writing you,With Almighty doing and his grace I got your contact in confidence after much thinking based my present situation of life.
I saw your profile and be convince, I want to transferring the total sum of #8Million (Eighty Million united State Dollars) in to your bank account for you to share and distribute it to the Deaf & Dumb/organization because since I lost my father and mother and left alone on earth while having a liver and heart failure problem which the doctor is sending me for an operation and the doctor stated that i will not be alive.
Frankly, before the sudding death of my beloved parents in a private hospital, the told me to seek for a help from any country of my choice to invest the funds but now for the funds not be confiscate that’s I am contacting you to receive the funds, my parents was a seller of cars and do export a Native Cooking Red Oil on contract bases,
After sending you this email i shall be going to the operation and based what the doctor told me that i dont have time on earth to live any more,with your kind honest, trusted do assist receiving this fund and take 30% while distribute the rest to Deaf & Dumb/organization,Actually I am doing this to receive blessing on my last day do as i said. If you can assist receive this fund, kindly contact Mohammed Bank Maqsood on his email ([email protected]) by email him your Name,Address,Country, Banking details information /your contact House telephone and Cell Numbers for the funds release processing on your name because i have already told him that i am sending some one to receive the funds which is you.
Do contact as soon as you receive this email, Forward your details to Mohammed Bank Maqsood on his email ([email protected]) for discussion for both trust and confidence good bye.
Yours faithfully,
Amina Abubakar
From: Christian Jegard <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Success Funds Transfer To You///
To: [email protected]
Date: Sunday, 06 May, 2012, 18:55
Hi Amina!
First of all, let me say how truly sorry i am to hear of the sudding death of your parents.
Its a tough time for anyone, let alone someone Deaf & Dumb. With liver AND heart failures. I must say it is nice of your doctor to send you for an operation, but its a shame that he ‘stated: you wont be alive’. Some people say its pointless to operate on dead people – but those people are IDIOTS. Personally, I admire the SPIRIT. don’t take no for an answer, i say.
I would be more than happy to accept the eight million, bless your failing heart.
I mean it when i say I would only use it to do GOOD, like buy fudge for div kids, or build a hospital for eczema sufferers. I may even donate some money to the poor doctors who work night and day under difficult circumstances, performing complex surgery on the recently deceased. My good friend Dr Victor Baron Von Frankenstein is actually looking for some fiscal assistance in this area, (for a project he’s working on) and I’d be delighted to help him out.
So Amina, What is it i have to provide? Do you need my bank details to deposit the money?
When will i get it?
Christian Jegard
Date: Mon, 7 May 2012 11:30:35 +0100
From: [email protected]
Subject: Success Funds Transfer To You///
To: [email protected]
Dear Christian Jegard,
Thanks for the brief sentence contained in your email. Sorry for my late reply due to i was ill and went for treatment as am getting better today. Based on the instruction been given by Amina Abubakar Deaf & Dumb on her way to the hospital for an operation.
. Therefore forward to me the bellow information for proceedings:
1) Your Full Name
2) Full address
3) Telephone
4) Occupation
5) Age
6) Banking details / information
Awaiting for your immediate response,
Sincerely,
YOURS,
Mohammed Bank Maqsood
From: Christian Jegard <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Success Funds Transfer To You///
To: [email protected]
Date: Saturday, 12 May, 2012, 19:51
hello Mohammed!
I see that Miss Amina Abubakar has forwarded my correspondence to you… i hope she hasn’t died yet, poor thing.
but if she has, give her my best wishes for her upcoming operation.
blimey! i’m sorry to hear that you’re ill as well Mr Maqsood! is the whole town infected?
i do hope your treatment was successful.
i just have a quick question…
strictly hypothetically, what would happen if you were also to die before the transfer went through? would the proceedings be forwarded on to someone else? the reason i’m asking is because if you die and my transfer dealings are handled by one of your (presumably gravely ill) colleagues –
but then you RECOVER (due to a successful operation) do the proceedings revert back to you?
and if (again, hypothetically) after this eventuality, Amina were to come back to life, would her resurrection delay the transfer? not that i have a problem with that of course,
but i’d like to keep things from getting complicated and/or ridiculous.
please reply asap.
Christian Jegard
Date: Sun, 13 May 2012 06:25:06 +0100
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: Success Funds Transfer To You///
To: [email protected]
Dear Christian Jegard,
Thanks for the nice mails. Please i will not die is a little illness and i took medication and treatment and am okay now.based your question if i die the bank in question will still contact with you and transfer all the funds to you and your file will be intert no problem.so to say i will not die, will be alive to follow your funds transfer up till you received all the funds ok.. Based what the doctor told me yesterday that Amina Abubakar Deaf & Dumb was on comer.
if happy she is alive no law has to break the funds will be release to you rather you can help her to come over to your country and you help her to take of her with some part of the funds but the doctor said she will died.
let be praying for her.
Therefore forward to me the bellow information for proceedings:
1) Your Full Name
2) Full address
3) Telephone
4) Occupation
5) Age
6) Banking details / information
Awaiting for your immediate response,
Sincerely,
YOURS,
Mohammed Bank Maqsood
From: Christian Jegard <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Success Funds Transfer To You///
To: [email protected]
Date: Saturday, 15 May, 2012, 22:16
Hello Mohammed!
sorry for the delay… as you probably know it was St. Nathan’s Day yesterday (the patron saint of hammers) and i got caught up in the celebrations. i definitely ate too much straw (as is a custom on St. Nathan’s Day) and although me and my family enjoyed the tradition of gathering round the radiator and urinating on it – as a tribute to St Nathan and his pioneering work of driving all the spiders out of Balham – it was a bit cold this morning so i turned the radiator on and now the whole flat stinks of piss.
nightmare! i’m sorry to hear Amina is in a coma… and “if happy she is alive”. I have heard that alot of people generally are quite happy when they’re in comas. apparently it’s quite relaxing. I hope she’s okay, poor little pineapple.
anyway – i bank with barclays, so here are the bank details as requested.
Barclays bank was setup in 1736 by john freame and james barclay. its headquarters are at canary wharf in the city of london.
it has operations in over 50 countries worldwide, and as of 2011 had over 48 million customers.
my branch has a white door, and the head teller is called anne. the current outfit for a bank teller in barclays is blue, with bits of red on the collar.
please let me know if you require any additional information.
christian jegard
***TO BE CONTINUED…***
