New guidance rules that were published by the government this week have stated that the safe alcohol consumption level is 14 units per week. That’s just six pints. And no, not pints of vodka. Pints of beer. That’s absolutely ludicrous – most people would smash double that in a night.

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The recommendation was made by the UK’s chief medical officers, which cut the weekly suggested number of units down from 21. So yeah, you’re totally cool to drink six pints of 4.8% beer or four large glasses of 14% wine.

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Drinkers have also been advised to have a few booze-free days each week in order to reduce alcohol consumption even further.

Joanna Simons, chief executive of Alcohol Concern, said:

These evidence-based guidelines were put together based on recommendations from a group of independent doctors, after looking at 20 years’ worth of evidence. They represent the maximum amount we can drink each week with little risk to our health.

Alcohol is linked to over 60 medical conditions including cancer, diabetes and high blood pressure, and regularly drinking over the recommended limits can increase the risk of developing alcohol-related illnesses.

We know that nine out of 10 people don’t know about the link between drinking and cancer and so we are calling for mandatory health warnings on alcohol products, as is standard practice in other countries.

Bad news all round. I mean, they’re probably right, but a life without booze would be a boring one. So I guess just decide what you’d rather – a sober, boring, long life, or a slightly less long, but way more fun one? I know which option I’m going to go with.

And anyway, heavy drinkers are the smartest people. Don’t believe me? Then just check out this study.