Rihanna Hides From Naked Man On Specially Chartered Plane

Apparently Rihanna has a new album out. Apparently it’s her 7th album too which is kinda crazy when you think about it considering she must be like 24 or something and I’m pretty sure she’s only been around since like 2005 or something. Anyway, I didn’t know this but apparently it’s a pretty big deal, and in order to promote it she’s going to 7 different countries and doing 7 different public appearances in 7 days in a specially chartered plane and it’s called the 777 tour or something. You know, because there’s 7 different countries, 7 different appearances and 7 days, so 777, you get it? The plane is also a Boeing 777!! These marketing guys are so clever huh? She also invited a bunch of press people on the plane with her to cover the tour and is paying for their hotel rooms in each of the respective different cities. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal if you’re one of those press people huh?

Wrong. It seems like everyone on the trip has gone completely crazy as they haven’t really achieved anything by embarking on the trip except going on a whistle stop tour of a bunch of countries as Rihanna has refused to speak to them whilst they’re on the plane and remained in a kinda panic room that nobody has access to, so the only reason they probably came on the trip (to try and further their careers by getting an exclusive interview with her and/or by sucking up to her really hard on the plane and trying to become her best buddy) is caput and most of them have just been getting trashed and going crazy as sitting on a plane for ages obviously gets completely boring. Some woman from MTV said that everyone on the plane was drinking neat whiskey one night but most of it just got spilled everywhere because everyone was so wasted and it was such a crazy party. Yeah, MTV, that sounds like a really crazy party, some people spilled their drinks…….it must have been real crazy in that case! Gawker described it as being on the verge of complete anarchy. I guess these guys are internet bloggers though so they’ve probably never actually been to a wild party so are just mistaking fairly normal occurrences at these kinds of thing as being ‘ completely wild’ and anarchic, although most people who read Sick Chirpse probably know better. Of course, the inevitable happened as it does at every ‘crazy party’ and the guy whose parents didn’t love him decides to get naked and run around, forcing everyone to look at his dick and just generally being kind of funny for about a second but generally just being annoying.

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Apparently the dude running naked is called Malcolm Christian an Australian (duh) and he works for Melbourne’s FOX FM. He seems like an idiot but I guess being stuck on a plane and having a wild party will do that to you. Rihanna just stayed in her panic room and probably doesn’t even know that anything has even happened as she was probably smoking weed and frigging herself off over pictures of Chris Brown or something. She’s playing in London tonight I don’t really know where though but maybe if you’re super good at the internet or have some famous friends you can get a ticket and head down. If you aren’t/don’t and you actually give a fvck then you can livestream it somewhere too.

You can check out the video of the dude running around naked on the plane and how fvcking cramped and shitty the plane looks below, although it does look like it would be kinda fun to just hang out there partying and going to a bunch of different cities for Rihanna concerts, I’m not gonna lie. Here’s hoping something ACTUALLY crazy happens on the last couple of days of the 777 tour:

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