When you think of Reading FC, you probably think of Steve Sidwell and a club that had a couple of seasons in the Premiership and then faded into Championship obscurity, like so many others. Maybe The Oracle shopping centre too if you’ve ever been there. You probably don’t think of a club that needs a techno/rap song for a club anthem. In fact I’m struggling to think of a football club you might think would need/want that anywhere in the world.

Despite this though Reading have decided to release one at the behest of their new co-chairwoman Khunying Sasima Srivikorn, who actually co-wrote the song as well. A woman of many talents it would seem – or not because the track is truly terrible.

It starts out like one of those club bangers that was big in the 90s – and probably still is now – where it’s just some female vocal singing in auto tune before it drops into a mad techno beat over the woman singing about how she loves the Royals (Reading’s nickname) and their blood is blue and white.  There’s also a rap, a chant and an acapella bit. Really trying to appeal to all genres there, but only really succeeding in being regarded as universally terrible by everyone in the entire world.

The video isn’t much better as it heavily features Pavel Pogrebnyak who doesn’t even play for the club anymore since leaving for Dynamo Moscow in the last transfer window. The rest of it is a couple of other Reading players like Gareth McCleary and Hal Robson Kanu signing a ball, and a bunch of deluded fans jumping around pretending they like the song amid a montage of fans celebrating at the ground having seen some truly wonderful football I’m sure. It’s also cut with the singer dancing around really passionately and doing a pretty good job of looking like she thinks it’s a sick song. Truly dismal.

Featured Image VIA

Wow. If you didn’t have the stomach to watch all of that – and to be honest I don’t blame you AT ALL – then at least have a giggle at some of the lyrics below. They’re even more cringeworthy than the literal translation of the Champion’s League music.

Verse 1
We started when all the odds defied us

Through passion and dreams we reached new heights

We were marching proudly from Elm Park into the stadium

We forced our rivals to make way

Pre chorus
Now we’re here and we’re strong, we’re going to bring it on

Can you hear when we shout come on

Chorus
We will fight til the end, they call us the Royals

With our might we’ll defend, the glory of Reading

Like the kings of our land, they call us the Royals

Let us sing every man, we stand by the Royals

Verse 2
We rise to the challenge of our rivals

We’re fighting the butterflies tonight

It’s our moment, feel the expectations rising

We smell a victory today

Rap
How we love the thrill of a good game

How we like the smell of the fame

Doesn’t matter if we learn or win

Unstoppably we burn within

Getting ready to shed our sweat

Everybody get ready and set

Let’s celebrate tonight. Or blood is blue our wings are white.

Chant
Blue and white, blue and white, blue and white

Give us blue and white, blue and white. Everybody come on.

A capella
Like the kings of our land. they call us the Royals

Let us sing every man, we stand by the Royals

Just awful.